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Critter Crops is a witchy Stardew Valley with pet squashes and forbidden grimoires

Squash petting as yet unconfirmed

A witch leads a procession of magic veggie pets in Critter Crops.
Image credit: Skyreach Studio

Readers, something actually magical has happened! I’ve spent a non-zero amount of time this week compiling a wishlist for potential Stardew Valley-likes that also let me keep pets. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to play, but I knew I was burnt out on both stabbing and shooting, and wanted something light and colourful with a solid loop that I could veg out (pun intended) with at the end of the day. I even went to so far as to create a chap named Karrot King in Stardew before quitting in disgust because I couldn’t easily access carrot seeds.

I cannot in good conscious claim that I manifested such a videogame - that was the work of Skyreach Studio. However, this is the internet, so I will both take credit for it and offer you an exclusive discount on my course. While I’m waiting for your membership fee to arrive, I’ll be playing Critter Crops. It’s a witchy farming sim in which you grow odd pets and cast spells from flesh-bound grimoires. One of the verbs it offers on its Steam page is 'noodle'. Apologies to all the other games on my wishlist.

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"Sylvie’s story begins as a newfound witch that has been chased out of her hometown for her abilities. When she arrives on Mutter Island she discovers she is capable of growing magical Critter Crops that will aid her in restoring the island to its former glory," readeth Steam. Might I one day be able to return to the village and bathe my traitorous kin in eldritch flame? No, sorry. Sorry. I’m trying to escape the cyclical violence that led me to such soothing games in the first place. Maybe just a little immolation? We’ll see. Right now, I’ve got pets to grow.

"Uncover the secrets of the island by growing magical critters in this isometric role-playing/management game! Farm, Noodle, Mine, Gather, and Explore the island in order to level up your abilities and uncover more of the mysteries of Mutter Island." Sounds rad, honestly. There’s a total of 24 critters to collect, once you’ve discovered each one’s growing conditions. You’ll level them up, accessing new areas of the island with their abilities.

As well as the usual trailers and screens, there’s a short clip on the Steam page in which a dev talks through some of Critter Crops' development history. The game started as a college project, which then evolved through inspiration from Skyreach’s favourite indies. The dev mentions the challenges of working combat into the traditional framework of a 'cosy' game - but ultimately, their goal was "to make the game that (they) wanted to play." As is often the way of such things, the result is a game that I now want to play. Everybody wins - with the notable exception of my former village, who will not even have time to rue the day before I reduce them to ash with an army of anthropomorphic vegetables at my side. Cosy!

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